The news is that an oil platform exploded in the Gulf of Mexico and may be spewing crude or some such petroleum substance into waters of the area, about 100 miles off the Louisiana shore. I think that now brings the rating of the Gulf waters up to 10W30 from its previous 5W30 rating, what with all the extra lubricant being introduced. If that weren’t bad enough, the nine workers on the rig are missing and assumed dead. This all a matter of weeks since President Obama announced plans to open the Atlantic coast to more offshore drilling. Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps we need to consider the possibility of intentional sabotage by eco-terrorists. Before you assume I’ve gone off the deep end, just look at the facts:

1) Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln, and Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy, or some kind of Irish name.
2) John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and ran to a warehouse, Lee Harvey Oswald (or whomever it actually was) shot Kennedy from a warehouse and ran to a theatre.
3) Kennedy was born on the East Coast and Lincoln was born in the Midwest, or somewhere.
4) Kennedy is on the half-dollar and Lincoln is on the penny. Another coincidence, you say?
5) President Obama still hasn’t shown me his birth certificate.
6) It’s now illegal to be a Mexican in Arizona.

Now, there may be a bit of room for doubt, but that’s plenty good enough for me. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse. God bless you, and God bless America.